8 Things Marriage Is (and 2 Things It Isn’t) | Part 2

Last week in Part 1, we looked at the first three truths the Bible teaches us about marriage: that it’s countercultural, covenantal, and not based on how we feel. This week, we’re continuing our list with five more biblical truths that round out the picture—and they just might challenge the way you see your own marriage.

Marriage is a Picture of the Gospel

When Paul writes in Ephesians 5 that marriage is a “mystery,” he doesn’t mean it’s confusing—he means it’s sacred. The covenant between a husband and wife is designed to reflect the relationship between Christ and His church. In other words, your marriage is supposed to preach. Every act of forgiveness, service, and sacrifice becomes a small sermon about the grace of Jesus.

So ask yourself: does your marriage reflect the way Jesus loves His bride?

Marriage is Centered on Jesus

This is more than having a Bible verse on your wall. A marriage centered on Jesus means He shapes how you talk to one another, how you handle conflict, and how you forgive. One of my favorite illustrations is the triangle: Jesus at the top, husband and wife at the corners. As each person draws closer to Jesus, they naturally draw closer to one another.

Want a stronger marriage? Don’t just go to church together—follow Jesus together.

Marriage is a Means of Discipleship

Marriage is about more than just happiness—it’s about holiness. When you’ve got a front-row seat to someone else’s life, day in and day out, you get opportunities to practice the fruit of the Spirit more than anywhere else. Patience, kindness, humility, forgiveness—it all gets tested (and developed) in the context of marriage.

Your spouse isn’t your project, but God will absolutely use them to shape your heart.

Marriage is a Call to Self-Denial

In a culture obsessed with self, Scripture calls us to something deeper: self-denial. That’s especially true in marriage. Husbands are called to love like Jesus—sacrificially, humbly, and with servant-hearted leadership. Wives are called to submit—not as doormats, but as partners who trust God’s design and joyfully allow their husbands to lead like Christ.

And let’s be honest—none of us naturally put others first. That’s why marriage is so sanctifying.

Marriage is a Ministry and a Mission

God designed marriage not only to bless you, but to shape you into someone who blesses others. In Ephesians, Colossians, Hebrews, and 1 Peter, we see that marriage is meant to display the character of Christ and His love for the church. That means how you treat your spouse matters—not just for your happiness, but for your witness.

When we love, serve, and sacrifice for our spouse, we preach the gospel without ever opening our mouths. We show our kids what faithfulness looks like. We show our friends what forgiveness looks like. We show the world that love isn’t self-serving—it’s self-giving.

Your job isn’t to fix your spouse—it’s to focus on your own heart, to lead with love, and to trust that God is at work in both of you. So let’s stop seeing marriage as a stage for our own comfort and start seeing it as a platform for gospel ministry. Your home is your mission field. And your marriage is one of the most powerful tools God can use to show his love to others.

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Next Up: Two Things Marriage Isn’t

I’ll be back soon to wrap up this series with two things marriage isn’t—and why knowing what marriage isn’t is just as important as knowing what it is.